Dear sped teachers,
I've made contact with many of you as of today. With few exceptions (because there are always exceptions), you are wonderful at your job, or you strive very hard to be the best you know how. However, there are some things I want you to know.
What I love about the special education process, and IEPs, is that we have a one-of-a-kind chance to meet the child where they are, instead of where people feel they should be. Once we've established a baseline, we can work more on goals to achieve. For the most part, our experience with this has been good.
But I feel as if the special education system sets some children up for failure.
Too many teachers are forced to focus on "grade level" achievements. What if my child isn't supposed to be on this grade level? What if there really isn't a point in teaching volume, mass, and measurement right now? What if I'm okay with my son reading Thomas the Tank instead of Harry Potter?
"On grade level" is something a majority of us veteran parents stopped caring about a long time ago.
You don't always have to tell us that our children are "secret geniuses." Genius is measured in ways my son is not. I fully believe that my son is smart, that all people are, but I understand that, on paper, it doesn't appear this way.
I fully grasp that, in an IEP meeting, you are attempting to deliver news that isn't settling. But give it to us straight. We don't need a bedtime story, we need facts. Perhaps I'm in the minority of parents here, but I don't want fluff and a hundred anecdotes about the "cute" things my son may do. I live with him, I know him, and I know how cute he can be.
Don't help my child so much that he cannot do something independently, like an art project. I can count on one hand how many projects have been sent home that I know my son did on his own and I treasure every single one of them. Those which were clear to me that he didn't do? They go in the trash and it hurts like hell to see someone didn't think my child's train scribbles were good enough. He's good enough.
Please tell the paras to back off. If a cutting exercise or something of that nature appears to be too hard, take a breath and let him do it.
The same goes for work. My son was "helped" so many times with so many things that, upon assessments or homework, he couldn't do these things on his own. Who is that really helping?
It is a disservice to any child to help to the point that it renders them unable. Physical disabilities notwithstanding, independence is what a majority of us are after.
Some of us really don't care if our child can perform quadratic equations. However, we really do care if they can count money, read a calendar, and balance a checkbook. If my child doesn't "qualify" for the life skills room and is forced to keep learning about why the Underground Railroad isn't really a train track (three years and running!), I'm going to need a better reason than "he's verbal."
I understand your hands are tied in a lot of cases because of state regulations. But listen to the parents' concerns. Don't automatically say, "he'll get it... eventually." Some things aren't that important to us. We want our children to succeed, yes, but maybe our definitions of success are different than yours.
In closing, I want to reiterate something I've said time and again- I couldn't do this without you. A good special education teacher, or any teacher, is worth his/her weight in gold. We mourn the good ones we must move away from, and will remember you for always.